Schmelnoz the Incomprehensible says the darndest things sometimes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Recently (which remember is now eighteen years ago) we were watching some birds and he said, \u201cWhen the animals finally go to war against man, the birds will be quite formidable opponents.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Noting my incredulous look he explained, \u201cFor one thing, their surveillance powers are beyond question. And their communications network is obviously second to none.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And as is usually the case I couldn\u2019t really argue with him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now I know there have got to be at least a few of you right now who are probably saying to yourselves, \u201cThis Schmelnoz guy he keeps talking about doesn\u2019t sound so \u2018incomprehensible\u2019 to me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Well, that\u2019s because you\u2019ve never actually heard him speak for yourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What you are getting here is my own cleaned-up \u201cSpamrider Translation\u201d. Though I must admit, during our time together Schmelnoz has made some remarkable progress when it comes to tuning himself into what he calls \u201cthe human time-reality perspective,\u201d which is his way of saying making himself become more understandable to humans.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So I guess just as he has influenced me I have also managed to have at least somewhat<\/em> of an influence upon him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Not that it even matters anyway because Schmelnoz also has this uncanny ability to suddenly begin acting or sounding just like most anybody or anything he chooses to. He does this weird thing I won\u2019t even go into trying to explain to you, and then all of a sudden it\u2019s like he\u2019s become somebody else. I must admit it made me very uneasy the first couple times I ever seen him do it. I was asking myself, \u201cJust who or what is<\/em> this guy anyway???\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Schmelnoz says that I have sort of a \u201cnatural God-given talent\u201d (except that he never actually used the word \u201cnatural,\u201d or the words \u201cGod-given,\u201d or for that matter the word \u201ctalent\u201d) for explaining things to people that otherwise would forever remain beyond their grasp and comprehension, which he also says is what makes me uniquely among other human beings the \u201cSpamrider of the Apocalypse\u201d\u2014a name he came up with, not me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When I asked him what the hell that<\/em> was supposed to mean he simply smiled that strange and lopsided grin of his and replied, \u201cExactly.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Schmelnoz the Incomprehensible says the darndest things sometimes. Recently (which remember is now eighteen years ago) we were watching some birds and he said, \u201cWhen the animals finally go to war against man, the birds will be quite formidable opponents.\u201d Noting my incredulous look he explained, \u201cFor one thing, their surveillance powers are beyond question. …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-385","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.spamrider.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/385","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.spamrider.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.spamrider.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.spamrider.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.spamrider.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=385"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/blog.spamrider.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/385\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":549,"href":"https:\/\/blog.spamrider.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/385\/revisions\/549"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.spamrider.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=385"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.spamrider.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=385"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.spamrider.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=385"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}