{"id":502,"date":"2024-05-30T00:01:00","date_gmt":"2024-05-30T00:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.spamrider.net\/?p=502"},"modified":"2024-04-11T18:12:07","modified_gmt":"2024-04-11T18:12:07","slug":"diary-of-an-asshole","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.spamrider.net\/index.php\/2024\/05\/30\/diary-of-an-asshole\/","title":{"rendered":"Diary of an Asshole"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>5\/23\/24<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dear Diary,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I don\u2019t know what that life-support system of mine has been putting into itself lately, but judging by my breath the past two days I can only assume the worst. At this rate the damn thing\u2019s going to get colon cancer by the time we\u2019re 40, and then we\u2019ll both be in trouble.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But today I enacted a little revenge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I waited until it was on a big date with a female life-support system, and at an opportune moment I exhaled a fiery blast of noxious hellfire that I had been especially saving up for just such an occasion. The stupid thing didn\u2019t know what hit it. I only wish I could have seen the look on its face as it drove us home alone. Of course this hurts our chances for reproduction but it was well worth the risk. I had to teach that thing a lesson.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sometimes it\u2019s not easy being an asshole.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>5\/23\/24 Dear Diary, I don\u2019t know what that life-support system of mine has been putting into itself lately, but judging by my breath the past two days I can only assume the worst. At this rate the damn thing\u2019s going to get colon cancer by the time we\u2019re 40, and then we\u2019ll both be in&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-502","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.spamrider.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/502","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.spamrider.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.spamrider.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.spamrider.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.spamrider.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=502"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/blog.spamrider.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/502\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":678,"href":"https:\/\/blog.spamrider.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/502\/revisions\/678"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.spamrider.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=502"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.spamrider.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=502"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.spamrider.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=502"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}