Month: November 2023

“Everything that is incomprehensible does not cease to exist.” -Blaise Pascal, Pensées My friend Schmelnoz the Incomprehensible is so cool that I thought I’d just dedicate an entire entry to him. Schmelnoz hails from a planet somewhere in the Near Future, which is sort of like the Bronx of The Future, and which, quite astonishingly,…

As the Spamrider of the Apocalypse I know that you all are just dying for me to start talking about everything going on in the Middle East right now, as if any of that bellicose balderdash and ballyhoo somehow has anything to do with me or my message to all of you.  In response I…

So Monday I called Bob up and asked him when I was going to actually get paid for writing this column. “You don’t get paid,” he said.  “We don’t pay any of our writers.” “You mean to tell me I’ve been doing this column now for the better part of 20 years and I don’t…

So you may be wondering about my personal connection to Bob and Steve and how I ever came to be writing this weird crap on their weird crap website in the first place, and it actually turns out to be a pretty interesting story. The long and short of it is that when I was…

So I just got back from The Future last week.  If you thought regular jetlag was bad, let me tell you you haven’t seen nothing. I just slept for 72 hours straight and my duodenum is STILL moaning the blues! Though I had a great time and met a lot of really wonderful people in The…