Month: December 2023

A little kid came up to me today and asked me why Santa Claus always brings the rich kids nicer presents at Christmas than the poor kids. I just told her the truth that it’s because Santa Claus is a Republican. In The Future the Christmas shopping season begins the day after New Year’s. The…

There are some people who always automatically choose to see the glass as half full. And there are some people who always automatically choose to see the glass as half empty. Personally, I’ve always figured it depends on whether you’re busy filling it up or drinking out of it.

Or whatever you personally may call it. Sometimes I hear people say that all the problems in this world stem from overpopulation. But I take issue with this. The problem in and of itself isn’t so much the size of the population. The problem is more the quality of the population. If we all just…

A lot of people have been writing in asking me about how it was that I ever decided to become a time traveller in the first place. Actually nobody has ever written in or asked me about anything but I just thought I’d start out by saying something stupid like that since Bob seems to…

So I’m visiting this guy the other day, and he says to me, “Me casa es su casa!” “Awesome!” I said. “I’ll bet I can get $250 grand for this place!” This seemed to annoy him, so I added, “What? I’ll split it with you…” Now I’m not allowed in my casa ever again.

(This Spamrider of the Apocalypse entry arrived in my clothes hamper dated May 31, 2047.  -Bob) …That it actually burns you alive if you step out of your cave. I am actually writing this post to you from The Future. And let me tell you, it ain’t pretty kids. You people should be ashamed of…

[Writer’s Note: Since my original column this week seems to have gotten pre-empted by another one which I had written earlier (well…actually…later) suddenly arriving from The Future, I am going to go ahead and post two of these this week even though I really only ever planned on doing that whenever the first entry was…

(This Spamrider of the Apocalypse entry recently mysteriously arrived in my toilet dated August 8, 2047. -Bob) I’ve decided to return to The Past (formerly and soon again to be The Present) at the next available opportunity.  I must admit that I previously thought living during the aftermath of a Donald Trump presidency was bad.  That…