In The Future it will begin to occur to some people that one of the major reasons we have so many problems in the world today is that instead of seeing science as a means of obtaining pure knowledge and enlightenment with which we might better ourselves as a race, we look upon it as something to…
Month: February 2024
The Illiputians
Speaking of timekeeping, Schmelnoz once told me about this race of giants called the Illiputi who do not keep track of time simply because they do not believe in it. According to the Illiputian way of thinking, every day is actually the same day. The only reason it seems otherwise is that some douchebag keeps…
Lunch Time
According to my alien friend from The Future Schmelnoz the Incomprehensible the only reason that primitive races like humans even believe in and attempt to keep track of something so abstract as Time in the first place is because in our early development conceiving of such a concept became a necessity just so we could…
A Crinkle In Time
[Note: The following entry was written by Schmelnoz the Incomprehensible, my alien friend from The Future. -Spamrider] Greetings Earthlings. I am the quasi-sentient life-form known colloquially as “Schmelnoz the Incomprehensible”. But I conceive that if the Spamrider has properly primed your reality contextual realms the way I have instructed him to then you have ultimately…
The Great Poodle Wars
So despite all the grisly and gruesome details I have thus far disclosed concerning The Future, it turns out that the most fierce and vicious response I have received thus far has come from a certain dog owner whose name I won’t mention (Larry) who has expressed both shock and dismay at my earlier revelation that…