By visiting this website you hereby forfeit any and all rights to privacy that you may have ever entertained or enjoyed. In addition to said privacy rights you hereby also forfeit any and all other rights to anything and everything whatsoever that you may have also ever entertained or enjoyed.
In accordance and compliancy with our policies we may relentlessly spam your email inbox, regularly phone you up in the middle of the night, repeatedly text your mother nasty pictures of our junk, physically send you packages full of rotten fish in the mail (COD), and routinely and maliciously collect and store your personal information recklessly and haphazardly for however long we damn well please not to mention give it away to whomever we want or sell it to the highest bidder or otherwise disseminate it in any other way that we care to or can think of.
Furthermore, we may stalk you, watch you bathe, touch you and do things to you in your sleep, harass you at your workplace, and create photographic and video records of all your secret-most private activities.
Please be advised that your forfeiture of these rights is irrevocable, non-negotiable, and already took place instantly the moment you first visited this website.
We also retain the right to alter this privacy policy at any time according to our every whim and without bothering to notify you first.
Please also be advised that one of our special “motivational” agents will very soon be contacting you to discuss your personal contribution to our protection fund and if you know what’s good for your kneecaps, you will donate most generously.
You know you probably should have moved to Europe where they actually care about and wouldn’t let us get away with this sort of thing.
In addition to every other right which you have hereby and hitherto forfeited, by reviewing this specific (or any other) clause hereby contained within this privacy policy you are also forfeiting your right to ever move to Europe or anyplace else unless we say it is OK.
And it’s NOT OK.
It’s also NOT OK to ever tell anybody about anything that you have read here today.
And if you do we’ll know it, because just remember—we’re watching you.
Sleep tight motherfucker.