In retaliation for my little funny Bob has been hounding me to do a question-and-answer edition of my column in order to recognize and show appreciation for some of the so-called “fan mail” he claims to have been receiving in my stead.
And so, without further ado I present…
Ask The Spamrider
Dear Spamrider,
What is it like to be a Time Lord?
-Darryl from Poughkeepsie
Dear Darryl from Poughkeepsie,
I have no idea since I am not a “Time Lord”. I am just a regular person like you. Or apparently not like you, since I know the difference between REALITY and DOCTOR FUCKING WHO!
-Spamrider
Dear Spamrider,
As a bona fide representative of the planet Gallifrey, what advice do you have for us humans as we finally begin to explore the stars?
-Tim
Dear Tim,
I unfortunately cannot answer your question because I am not from the planet Gallifrey nor have I ever been to such a place if it even exists. Which it probably doesn’t. Because Gallifrey is the name of a planet from the fictional British television series DOCTOR FUCKING WHO!
-Spamrider
Dear Spamrider,
Which incarnation are you currently in? My wife says it’s your third, but I say it’s got to be at least your eighth or ninth.
-Ed Simian
Goddammit Bob!!!