Month: May 2024

5/23/24 Dear Diary, I don’t know what that life-support system of mine has been putting into itself lately, but judging by my breath the past two days I can only assume the worst. At this rate the damn thing’s going to get colon cancer by the time we’re 40, and then we’ll both be in…

Those ribs I ate last night were great but man do I have the rotten ass today! I can’t hardly stand to be around myself. My farts didn’t even smell this bad after the last Cosmic Chili, Beer and Weed Fest. Somebody should make a blog dedicated entirely to their ass. The whole thing could…

Although most people don’t like to admit it, the truth is there are some things out there we can just never know.  And I guess that’s where faith comes in. Because it is when you genuinely do not know and cannot know something that you get to choose what you are going to believe. (I…

As near as I can tell the world is just a big mystery that mankind will forever be trying to solve.  Or more likely, will kill ourselves trying to solve. We unearth the relics of ancient civilizations because we want to understand our past. To the stars we look for our future. And meanwhile we…

It just doesn’t matter today.

My friend John the Revelator has this saying: The reward of patience is patience. Quite profound, no? As far as I know he probably got it from a fortune cookie. He doesn’t know that I’m The Spamrider of the Apocalypse. But I think he suspects. I had a fortune one time that said, “About time…

In The Future it is illegal to pee your pants. Apparently after they made it illegal to speak out or otherwise demonstrate against The Establishment people started peeing their pants as a form of protest. So they made that illegal too.  In The Future the prisons are full of babies and incontinent old farts.

The Future is one scary fucking place. You shouldn’t even need me to tell you that.  Just take a good look around at everything that is going on here and now right there in front of you in The Present and then carry it all out to its logical conclusion. Pretty frightening, huh? In fact, it’s…

Schmelnoz said something to me once that I didn’t really understand but I nonetheless found very intriguing. He said that humans are the only known species in the universe who relentlessly pursue amnesia. He also said some other things too but I’ve mostly managed to forget them all.