Month: June 2024

That was the year the fascists suddenly won elections all over the earth.  When the liberals and moderates complained that the whole thing looked pretty fishy and needed to be investigated the fascists simply brushed them aside, reminding them about how they themselves had reacted with scorn and derision to the fascists’ own prior claims…

The Cosmic Chili, Beer & Weed Fest is a celebration that is/was/will be held upon several select and unforgettable occasions and occurs/occurred/will occur at various locations throughout the entirety of traversable time and space.  It’s essentially a reoccurring and never-ending party, but a reoccurring and never-ending party that is organized and thrown by Time Travellers,…

“Time is what you read off a clock.” -Albert Einstein The thing most people don’t understand about Time Travel is that you’re also travelling through space.  They picture you jumping—let’s say 20 years into The Future—and somehow just appearing in the same spot where you were originally standing. Except it’s not the same spot.  Because…

In retaliation for my little funny Bob has been hounding me to do a question-and-answer edition of my column in order to recognize and show appreciation for some of the so-called “fan mail” he claims to have been receiving in my stead. And so, without further ado I present… Ask The Spamrider Dear Spamrider, What…

After reading Melissa Paternik’s latest “Chick Shit” column I feel like I need to come clean about something. Bob Semitram and I have also been lovers for decades and I have personally borne seventeen of his time babies. Shocking, I know. What you probably don’t know is that Bob wasn’t just making shit up that…

I was drinking rum and Djarjar juice with Schmelnoz in the 17th dimension the other night—actually it was technically the 175/8ths dimension, but let’s not split hairs—and he said something that I’ve been thinking about ever since. He said it is well known among most interplanetary species that Earthlings (we may not capitalize it here…