Category: Blog

So much of what we do we don’t even do. Our Zombie Routines do it for us. That is to say, much of the time we’re essentially on Autopilot. We routinely (see what I did there?) turn various basic daily life functions over to the Zombie Routines, aka the Routine Zombies. And after that the…

So I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is I’ve figured out why I wasn’t able to Jump in this Timeline, and also why and how I ended up here in the first place. Of course it turns out it was all your old Spamrider’s doing. Despite all his big talk, he…

Interestingly in my old timeline it was regular Spock who had the goatee and mustache. Evil alternate universe Spock was clean shaven. At the same time almost everybody on Star Trek had a beard. Kirk had a bear, Bones had a beard, Picard had a beard. Even Uhura and Seven of Nine and Janeway had…

I ran into Schmelnoz the Incomprehensible this week! I was drinking a Bloody Mary at a local bar when suddenly I heard this commotion.  When I saw who was at the center of it I literally couldn’t believe my eyes.  Schmelnoz had gotten drunk and was attempting to impregnate three humans at once, much to the chagrin…

I just found out today that in this Timeline “Patience is a virtue” is actually a quite common expression. And I do have to say I think it’s a good one. In my timeline the expression used to be “Humility is a virtue.” Which I also thought was a good one. But you’ve got to…

I was just looking up “Soylent Green” to see if it had been invented yet and I found out that in this timeline they actually made a movie out of it starring Charlton Heston. Now if that doesn’t just beat all. No matter how much I think I may have gotten used to this time/space…

In the future of the timeline I remember meat was a rare commodity. Most of what you got was Meat Substitute, which was this artificial meat grown in mass quantities inside giant cow, pig, or chicken-shaped molds.  It varied in quality, and sometimes it actually wasn’t bad. But it ain’t meat. I’m not saying the Future I…

I watched John Carpenter’s The Thing tonight.  I’ve seen it before, or at least I think I have. Great movie by the way. But that’s not why I watched it. I thought maybe seeing Kurt Russell might jar up some old memories of the things I apparently have written about here then subsequently forgotten. Nothing….

Well done, alternate-timeline America! You’ve really gone and stepped in it this time. I really hope you’re proud of yourself. In fact, I know you are. We’ll just see how long that feeling lasts I guess. Bravo!

You’re probably expecting me to say something about the election. It is the orange elephant in the room after all. In my old timeline we were facing the same horror shitshow. But come calamity or calm waters I figure the point is moot anyway because America has obviously lost its way somewhere along the line…