Month: January 2024

Schmelnoz the Incomprehensible says the darndest things sometimes. Recently (which remember is now eighteen years ago) we were watching some birds and he said, “When the animals finally go to war against man, the birds will be quite formidable opponents.” Noting my incredulous look he explained, “For one thing, their surveillance powers are beyond question. …

So now that it’s all over I can finally tell you now the real reason I was in Texas. My best friend from The Future, Schmelnoz the Incomprehensible, arrived on earth approximately eighteen years ago, which was three weeks ago according to my own personal subjective experience of Time. Actually it feels more like three…

“The world is a comedy to those who think, a tragedy to those who feel.” -Horace Walpole  I guess that makes my life a tragic comedy.

In Texas every meal you eat comes with Texas Toast. I’m not that big of a fan of Texas Toast actually. No offense to Texas. Actually, I wonder if Texas Toast was even invented in Texas. Some guy in New Jersey probably sliced some bread extra thick one day (this was before they invented sliced bread…

As I write this I am currently sitting in a hotel room in Big Lake, Texas. Never mind what year it is. The name of the hotel is “The Derrick Inn”. I call it “The Derelict Inn”. It isn’t a bad hotel, really. It just has the misfortune of being located in a town that…

(This Spamrider of the Apocalypse entry arrived in my refrigerator underneath the pickles dated July 17, 2047. -Bob) Having had some more opportunity to read through this website I can see now that me sending these messages back from The Future has already gotten this blog all out of whack and that some things just aren’t ever…

Howdy from Texas everybody! Wow…everything really IS bigger in Texas! Even my wiener!!!!!!!