They say when life hands you lemons, make lemonade.
This always seemed sort of silly to me. Mostly because I like lemons just fine.
So what if life hands you a stinking pile of shit?
What are you supposed to do then, make a shit sandwich?
Funny thing is I once knew a guy who did exactly that.
As a child he lived on a farm, and he had to walk to school every day. Since his family was poor he would always have to bring his own lunch which usually consisted of a single peanut butter sandwich.
And every day the school bully would beat him up and steal his sandwich from him.
Of course you see where this is going.
So one day this guy goes out to the horse stall and takes some horseshit and spreads it between two slices of bread.
Apparently, to make a long story short, that bully never stole any more sandwiches.
And I should know.
Because that bully was me.
Nah, I’m just kidding. I would have to go back in Time before my own birth to bully that guy as a kid. And even if I did, I still wouldn’t be a kid. I’d be a full-grown man beating up some poor kid and stealing his lunch, in which case I would deserve exactly what I was getting.
A horseshit sandwich.